For every hurt, there's always something to learn

From every tear that had to fall from my eyes
From everyday I wondered how I'd get through the night
From every change life has thrown me
I'm thankful, for every break in my heart
I'm grateful, for every scar
Some pages turned, some bridges burned
But there were lessons learned.
-- Carrie Underwood - Lessons Learned

Read More →

The beauty of Learning

The quarter life crisis has really taken its toll on me these past months. 


A year after college, I've had the need to move unto more challenging phases. Career, Social life, Love life and personal development. This phase has been very difficult. But i'm glad it's happening now as I have a lot of learning to do which in turn would make me a better person.
And so while i face this phase, here are the things I have learned or learning to do.

• I am  learning to pick and fight my battles wisely : I am learning how to focus more on things that are important to me and let go of those that are not. I am learning how to ignore silly things that used to make me mad before. This has made me realize there are more important wars/battles to fight rather than focusing my energy on less important things. Choosing my  battles that I can win today doesn't mean I will be successful in fighting everything, only that I can pick them and that just maybe there won't be much harm in losing a few.
• I am learning to be patient: This is so difficult especially when dealing with other people. I'm learning how to be patient, how to understand that people are different and accept that these things are beyond my control. Rome wasn't built in a day. I have to be realistic about certain things. I'm learning to understand why people do things that may become annoying to me. Things like not picking up calls when I call, or replying my texts or chats on time. I'm learning how not to jump into conclusions or finding faults immediately without listening to their part. This has been really hard, but i'm getting there.
• I am learning to put myself in other people's shoes: I used to think there was a rule that lets you get treated the same way you treat people. Only if this was so easy. I expect so much from people because I would always go out of my way to do things and expect people to do these things to me also.I am learning that not everything revolves around me. People have lives outside of being friends with me and all that.
• I am learning to be less paranoid: I am learning to be less anxious or worried or think wrongly of situations, people etc. 
• I am learning how to give people space: This is very hard based on my childhood. I'm a spoiled brat and always got attention and what I wanted. These days as an adult, I'm learning people's lives don't revolve around me and sometimes I need to give them space to spend time on more important things.
• I am learning to control my anger: Thank God for HIM, i've been able to control my anger.
• I am learning how to appreciate the supreme being up there: Enough Said
• I am learning to obey God more and do his will: This is hard but i'm getting there.

Having HIM in my life has been really helpful in being a better me. I'm so grateful for having someone who can call me out on my BS anytime.. <3

Read More →

Fighting for Love

After all the broken stonesThat were thrown for no good reasonInside she's loving him stillAfter all this time

And though her heart bares the scarsNo sign of healing, it's all rightShe's loving him stillAfter all this time, oh yeah

Trying to push the past awayStill waiting for the lights to changeShe'll try, try for the sakeOf their pride, pride

Learning to barely feel the painThicker the skin, the less the strainAnd though it's really hurtingShe ain't breaking, breaking, breaking

'Coz she's loving him stillAfter all this time

Now he knows, his weakness showsSelfish soul, never changingThat's fine because she's loving him stillAfter all this time

And to the outside eyeYou see a family getting byAnd it all seems perfect
And that's how she wants it

'Coz she's loving him stillAfter all this time

Trying to push the past awayStill waiting for the lights to changeShe'll try, try for the sakeOf their pride, pride
Learning to barely feel the painThicker the skin the less the strainAnd though it's really hurtingShe ain't breaking, breaking, breaking
'Coz she's loving him stillAfter all this time, after all this timeAfter all of the, all of the, all this time
Bones have to grow and age it showsThough we try and hide itInside, she's loving him stillAfter all this time
And behind his tired eyesShe sees the boy with his arms wideWho made her feel like an angelOh that's why she's loving him still
For the rest of her life, she's loving him stillFor the last of many miles, she's loving him stillAfter all this time

Read More →

Brain Dump

I was going to make this a confession post. But I don't think i'm ready to confess all these thoughts lurking around my head. So let me just get as random as I can be.


I woke up this morning, prayed and while praying I was crying. I had to run into the bathroom to  scream and puke before I felt good.  Sometimes when you have so much in your head, the only way to let go of them is to cry, scream and just create an outlet to seem like you're releasing those thoughts.


The tears haven't stopped flowing, like I would be staring and thinking and get teary eyed. I absolutely have no reason why i'm feeling this way. I guess it's just one of those days.


That one decision you make can have its consequence in the future. It could mess up a lot of things which you never planned could happen. That's why I keep telling myself, no matter how small a decision is, I have to really think through and check on how it would affect my future.


I've been feeling really down. This time last year, I had laid down so many projects I had wanted to get started by 2012. So many opportunities, but I slacked big time. I was evaluating myself over the weekend and seen that i haven't done anything I had planned. I know it's not too late to begin, but I'm majorly mad at myself.


I've decided to cut some people off. Enough said. No point having you around if i'm not doing anything positive in your life and vice versa.


The VP for administration during my midyear performance evaluation told me "You always look bright and happy, and that's one of the things that makes you VERY beautiful" . Loool. I smiled and tears started dripping down.


This weekend was awesome.  Hung out with friends and had FUNNN.  I called up a friend I hadn't talked to in months because we had a little fight. He invited me to come over and Sunday that he'll cook for me. Spent the whole of Sunday with him and his friends and I felt at peace that I had let go of all the anger and hurt in me.


I've been listening to a lot of Nigerian Music just to clear my mind of certain things. Now all these songs have grown on me. Currently obsessed with Skale's Mukulu and Iyanya's Kurukere. Now I'm craving for an African themed party. These days all I do when I get home is play this African songs  and dance away.


When feelings are mutual >>>>>>. Enough said.


Terrible weather here today. I hope everyone's safe.

I miss you and still think of you from time to time :/ Well not YOU necessarily. Just the time we spent together. I was always happy. You made me smile and laugh a lot.  

A promise means EVERYTHING, but once it is broken, sorry means NOTHING.


Tayo is arriving next week. So excited. I've missed the hell out of him.


Waiting for something/someone you love might be difficult, but it definitely beats being regretful which is more difficult.


Someone said I always do the same hairstyle everyday. OK. I'm going to start looking for relaxed hair blogs. Hopefully I have time.


I'm excited about a deal about to happen..One of my future projects about to kick start which would determine how my career would be.


Really grateful for some people in my life. 


EXCITED!!!! I need to really focus on this project. Thank you Lord. Sometimes situations arise which pushes you and lets u think outside the box. So sometimes hard times might be a motivation.


Here's to Loving someone and being loved back in return.

Read More →

When I'm hurting

It's easier for you to walk away, than it is for you to reach out to me.
It's easier for you to look away, than it is for you to see the depth of my despair.
It's easier for you to look through me, than it is for you to see "me."
It's easier for you to distance yourself, than it is for you to really care.
It's easier for you to hear, than it is for you to listen.
It's easier for you to judge, than it is for you to understand.
It's easier for you to label, than it is to get acquainted.
It's easier for you to bask in your joy, than it is for you to feel my pain.
It's easier for you to bewilder at my mysteries, than it is for you to probe deeply into the depths of my soul.

It's easier for me to look away, than it is to let you see the feelings betrayed through my eyes.
It's easier for me to cry, than it is for me to talk.
It's easier for me to walk alone, than it is to risk rejection.
It's easier for me to push you away, than it is for me to be held.
It's easier for me to distance myself, than it is to trust that you won´t hurt me.
It's easier for me to die, than it is for me to face life's challenges.

It's hard for me to smile when I am hurting.
It's hard for me to talk when you won't understand.
It's hard for me to reach out when I need help the most.

If only you'd really look at me and see who I am.
If only you cared enough to reach out when I push you away.
If only you'd hold me, without asking why.
If only you'd acknowledge the validity of my feelings.

But it's the easy roads that are most often taken.
And so I hurt alone.

--Jo A. Witt
Copyright 2000 

Read More →

The 2013 Ford Fusion.

I'm not a car freak. In fact the only  thing I enjoy about cars is road trips with friends. Apart from that, i'd rather just commute to wherever I'm going to. I can't even drive to save my life and the funny thing is there's a car at home which no one drives, but I cant just  be bothered.


But there's this tiny bond that exists between myself and any ford car. I've always loved ford. Way back in Naija, my folks used to own a ford and that was where my love for any ford car started. I've always told people if and when I own a car, its definitely going to be a ford. I always persuaded my ex to get a ford when he wanted to get a car but he ended up getting a Toyota Vios saying Ford was ugly. Last week I showed him the Ford Explorer 2011 and he actually liked it.


Yesterday while going through one of the various fora i read, I saw a thread about the new Ford Fusion and immediately I fell in love. This baby is the first sedan to offer gasoline, hybrid and plug-in hybrid versions -- each expected to deliver top fuel economy and an engaging driving experience. This baby might actually make me learn how to drive and work hard to buy it. Gorgeous is an understatement. 


Here's what ford has to say:
“Our vision for Fusion was clear – deliver the very best of what ‘One Ford’ stands for,” said Derrick Kuzak, group vice president of Global Product Development. “We brought our global teams together around a blank slate with the charge to develop a midsize car with ground- breaking design and jaw-dropping fuel economy – one that featured technologies to help make our customers safer and better drivers. This car is the result.”


Specific Technologies this baby comes with include :
* Lane Keeping System: This class-exclusive technology consists of three elements to help a driver maintain proper lane position. Using a small, forward-facing camera behind the inside rearview mirror, the system “looks” down the road, monitoring lane lines to determine that the car is on course. The system will alert a driver if drowsiness or erratic lane-keeping is detected. The second element warns a driver with a steering wheel vibration if the Fusion drifts too close to lane markings. Finally, lane keeping aid will actually apply pressure on the steering to help bring the car back into proper lane position.

* Adaptive cruise control: Using forward-looking radar, this system “looks” down the road when activated, slowing the Fusion when slower traffic is detected ahead. Adaptive cruise control enables collision warning with brake support to help slow the car if the potential of a crash is detected.

* Active park assist: Employing sensors, this technology can identify a suitable parallel parking space, calculate the trajectory and steer the car to properly position it within the spot. All a driver need do is operate accelerator and brake pedals.

* Blind Spot Information System (BLIS®) with cross-traffic alert: Sensors in both Fusion rear quarter-panels are able to detect traffic in a driver’s blind spot, providing both audible and visual warnings if traffic – unseen by the driver – is detected. BLIS technology enables cross-traffic alert, warning the driver of oncoming traffic when backing out of a parking space with obstructed views, such as between two large vans.

* The power of voice
The all-new Fusion offers the latest iteration of Ford’s award-winning, industry-exclusive SYNC® communications and entertainment system, which enables voice-activated communication through a driver’s mobile phone and interaction with the car’s audio system. 

Fusion also offers the latest version of MyFord Touch®, allowing a driver to interact with vehicle systems through voice control, a touch screen tap or a conventional button.

Both SYNC and MyFord Touch – powered by SYNC – help reduce the potential for driver distraction through voice-controlled functionality, allowing drivers to keep hands on the wheel and eyes on the road.


You can read more here.  


Pictures of this beauty.

Mehn, this is what you call beauty. I fell in love immediately I saw it. Another reason I love love love it is it has this Aston Martin influence on its design. Pure beauty I tell you guys.


Anyhoos, hope everyone is doing great. Work has been there. A whole lot to do and little time, but I'm grateful to God for the strength. Have a great weekend ahead everyone. 
Xx

Read More →

ThanksGiving Spirit-- 20 things I'm thankful for.

Even though we dont celebrate thanksgiving, I'll still make my thanksgiving Notes.

I'm thankful for:

1. Firstly, for having God in my life. I wake up, sleep, eat, drink, travel and in my 7 years of living in the philippines, not once have i ever stepped into a hospital. I'm so grateful for having HIM in my life, for sustaining me through these trials and challenges that I've been facing. For his beautiful words which keep my 
faith growing stronger. I look at my future and I know it is promising because I have God in my life.

2. My wonderful family. I love them so much, I dont know how my life would be without them. I'm grateful for having the best parents and siblings in this world, I'm so thankful for the way I was raised. I love u guys so much.

3. My wonderful friends. How would my life be without you guys. From those here in Manila, to those in Naga, and then different parts of the world. To those I have met, those I havent and those I plan to meet, I'm thankful for having you all my life. You guys make me happy, you make me smile, some of you inspire me,you put up with my BS on my crazy days, my mood swings, my attention seeking days etc.. Love u guys so much.

4. I am thankful for being the strong person I am today.

5. I'm thankful for all the blessings I have encountered in my life. Way too many that I could even THINK of listing.

6. The variety that life brings. Even after all these ups and downs, I am ready to keep going.

7. I'm thankful I have a good job, something I enjoy doing.

8. I'm thankful for my wonderful colleagues and Boss.


9. I'm thankful I see shoes I love at cheap prices :P.


10. I'm thankful for the wonderful people who have been there for me, those who check up on me, who make sure i'm fine everyday. I'm blessed with like 6 of them. 

11.I'm thankful for being who I am. The way I reason, being caring to others, having a smile on my face everytime even when I see strangers. I might not be a perfect person, but i love this person I've molded myself to be.

12.I'm thankful for the wonderful people who make quality music. Music makes me happy. Bless them Lord.

13. I;m thankful for my Pastor and his wife for passing great powerful messages that have affected my life in a positive way these past months. Bless them Lord.

14. I am thankful for the gadgets I have. Boredom has been severely cured through this.

15. I'm thankful for the footballers who entertain me and keep me sane watching them get injured, falling down. Bless them Lord.

16. I'm thankful for my Aunt. Lord bless her with good health and long life.

17. I'm thankful for today, tomorrow and forever.

18. I'm thankful for the internet. I wonder how my life would be without it. For making my job easier, for making wonderful friends, for the knowledge i gain everyday because of it, for the little things we see on the internet which makes you appreciate life more.

19.I;m thankful that I have wonderful people who care about me genuinely.

20. I'm thankful for the people who i have lost these past years, who I know are resting peacefully in your bosom.

Thank You Lord.

Happy thanksgiving to everyone in the US.

Read More →

TGIF

Thank God it's Friday!!! The weekend officially starts tomorrow. I work on Saturdays but, I have it programmed in my mind that weekend starts for me on Friday. I only work half days though on Saturdays. I love Fridays, the fact that most pay days have always fallen on Fridays or because we are allowed to wear anything casual. I usually don't have to worry about looking for what to wear. I just pull out my pants and then a casual top to go along and any flat shoes.

Today is one of my best friend's birthdays. So after work, we'll be having dinner at this seaside place. It’s a large place where various restaurants are and then you buy and choose your favorite sea food in their wet-market stalls and then hand it to your chosen restaurant to have it cooked the way you like. I love sea food so much and really glad I’m not allergic to any seafood. I had a friend who used to be and mehn, it was terrible because we had to be careful when choosing restaurants.  So  I’m looking forward to this dinner and besides the food, I’ll be seeing some of my Nigerian Filipino friends also and loads of catch up.

I got pissed off today when a friend told me I should be careful with the coffee I drink, when I told him I was dozing off at work and fueling my system with coffee. He went on about how too much caffeine is bad for women and all sorts. After I left him to type like almost 100 lines of why coffee is bad, I told him to come back and remind me when he stops drinking alcohol. The thing is I have no problem in you advising or criticizing whatever it is I do which is bad, but it gets annoying when you do it all the time. Anytime I tell this dude I’m doing this, he would always look for something negative to say about it. I'm still waiting for the day he'll say it when I’m a little bit tipsy and would be bold to say anything, then I’ll tell him off. Can't be having negative discussions every day.

I let my cousin borrow my laptop while she remains without one. That means  I would be missing football games and also watching my series. *Sigh*. Thinking about it, I've actually grown or would I say change? Some 8 months ago, I would never have been able to part ways with my laptop. I was that addicted to the internet. I was still in school then, but the internet was my life. If I didn't have internet connection at home, I would spend the whole day at a coffee shop and buy a new series to watch at night. These days I doubt I spend more than an hour online once I get back from work. 

So since I started hanging out with this guy, I've cut down on my mall visits, which only means one thing. No shopping. I day dream a lot about days in the future where I would be able to buy a 1000 dollars shoe without even thinking of how it will affect my account.  **sigh**

I've had Drake's take care song on repeat.

I am thankful to the Higher Power that has helped to sustain me through the  trials and challenges I've been facing.

God knows the major point whenever I pray is always for Him to make me happy. I always call up to Him to grant the desires of my heart which happiness is the top priority. If only people made happiness a major point in their life, there would be less depression, less suicides. Positivity goes a long way guys.

I'm grateful  for the variety that life brings. Even after all these ups and downs, I am ready to keep going.

I was reading a note i had written last year which I never published where i was wondering why some girls stay in relationships where the guy doesn’t see their worth and treats them bad. If only I knew that in such situation, it’s not easy especially when you love the guy. But then what’s the point of loving someone who doesn’t love you back, who doesn’t put efforts in the relationship, who doesn’t care about what you feel, who makes empty promises. One thing people don’t realize is that once you have a significant other or a boyfriend/girlfriend, everything you do shouldn’t be about you. You have to make sacrifices, relationships aren't just about sex or just having a boyfriend for the sake of it, there’s a whole lot of emotions involved, which someone people don’t even think about. When you make it all about you, without thinking of the other party involved, it becomes pointless making the other person feel worthless. I guess this whole issue boils down to what each of you want in a relationship. That’s why getting to know someone before you guys start is very important. Lol I might not have experiences in such, but i sure as hell know that it’s simple logic.

There are a lot of fishes in the ocean. Find a good spot to fish, there are as well many frogs you would have to kiss before you would be able to find your fish which might turn out to be your prince charming. So heres a tip, avoid places where frogs are, fish in places where you think the best fishes that are the type you like would be , be patient and in no time your fish aka prince charming would be around.

How come i can spend 30 minutes on twitter  before going to work and to straight iron my hair for 10 minutes is a problem.

I hate cliques. Enough Said.

International break this weekend, that means no football to watch :(. Looking forward to hang out with him this weekend though. :D

I'm about to leave work and start my weekend proper. Here's to a great weekend.  Xx

Read More →

FORMER ICC Captain, Sam Ojebode is ill and needs help from Nigerians

FORMER ICC Captain, Sam Ojebode (right) is ill and needs help from Nigerians.
To save the former Green Eagles defender, his friends and former teammates have urged Federal Government and well meaning Nigerians to rally to the aid of the 3SC former board chairman, who has been transferred to the emergency ward of University Teaching Hospital (UCH), Ibadan.

According to one of his associates, Jossy Lad, Ojebode’s health has deteriorated since he was admitted to hospital, adding that the former star has lost weight to an alarming rate.

“We want government and Nigerians to come to our aid in given Ojebode better medical care to save his life. We took him to two different hospitals before we were referred to UCH and we have been told to prepare for multiple surgery, which will attract high medical bills,” Jossy Lad explained.




--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The forum members of cybereagles have put up a fund raiser in lieu of this. Here are the details for this drive.
Snail Mail - Checks and Money Orders
C/o Bola Oduwole
P.O. Box 3551
Seal Beach, California 90740 Code word : Ojebode

Western Union / Moneygram
Bola Oduwole
P.O. Box 3551
Seal Beach, California 90740 Test Question For whom ? Answer : Ojebode 
Receivers Phone Number : 202 241 2573

paypal
bobbyd1911@yahoo.com Code word : Ojebode

In Nigeria 
Email Ojinmah@Gmail.com for details


For more information regarding this visit cyber eagles forum and view the story.

Read More →